Ealing North
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Steve Pound MP Ealing North |
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Break a Leg January 2005 - Gazette Article Reading Clive Soley’s column in last week’s “Gazette” made me realise how much we’ll miss him after the next election and I was intrigued to learn that he plans an expedition to Antarctica when, no doubt, the flag of Acton will be planted at the most inaccessible spot. Clive’s post-election plans made me think of my own position. No-one stays an MP for ever and I wondered what sort of job I could do if I find myself out of work. One idea I had was to write a book warning newly elected MPs of the hidden perils of their profession. Based on the fairly obvious fact that if there is a mistake to be made then I’ve certainly made it I consider myself well qualified to produce a guide book built on the premise of “do as I say, not as I do”. I would devote a long chapter to amateur dramatics. Assuming that Ealing North is typical in the richness and range of its theatrical companies I would give the new Honourable Member one piece of advice which I wish I had been given. Watch and enjoy every production that you can but never, ever accept an offer to take part. I’ve had some of the happiest evenings of my life in St.Barnabas’ Church Hall off The Fairway in Northolt where the Raglan Players put on the best comedy performances in London. The late and much lamented Northolt Comedy Players, of Northolt Grange, are the only company to come close to the mighty Raglans. The Julian Light Opera are superb and I will go a long way to see any production of HEOS (Hanwell and Ealing Operatic Society). This year’s production of “Dick Whittington” was rightly hailed as a classic, as was the St.Mary’s Players presentation on the same theme and I would certainly never miss the Greenford Gang Show (next show – February 17th.- 19th.at the Greenford Hall). Which brings us to the Holy Cross Players production of Snow White. For more years than I wish to recall I have succumbed to the blandishments of the Holy Cross team and accepted a modest part in their annual performances. I was assured by the transparently honest Rev.Neil Richardson and the author, Tony Jordan, that there would be no physical humiliation this year. This reassurance was necessary as I have, over the years, been covered in cake-mix, hit by eggs, soaked by more liquids than I knew existed and – on more than one occasion – received a custard pie in the face. That an MP is sometimes less than dignified may come as a shock to a few people but the vast bucket of freezing water dumped on my head this January by the evil Tom Smart came as a greater shock to me. The amorous attentions of the Great Dame of Greenford, Ray Allen, were not welcomed and the lipstick that he left on my cheeks took some explaining to Mrs.P. Why I did not get a quick snog from Yvonne Walton (Queen Slytherina) is probably a reflection of the fact that I don’t work on the “Spectator” but it is a sad fact that I seem only to attract drag queens instead of pantomime royalty. While I will warn the new MP of the pitfalls of amateur theatre I will remind him or her that the Holy Cross Players raised thousands of pounds for the Tsunami Appeal and that even the worst play or pantomime is invariably better than anything on Channel Five. I wish Clive well in his Antarctic adventures and know that I will not be the only person who will greatly miss his wise and often witty columns in the “Gazette”. Perhaps he could e-mail in a travel diary from the South Pole? Acton’s Michael Palin – now there’s a thought! |
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